Balasaheb Thackeray: A few excerpts

The media has presented Balasaheb Thackeray as a mafia like figure who only spreads hatred and lives by extortion, particularly by some very horrible translations of selected speeches. While he will always be a villain for the leftists and cocktail circuit journalists, judge for yourself by few of his speeches:-

You might be  a Marathi in Maharashtra, a Gujarati in Gujarat or a Bengali in Bengal. But unless you adopt a the role of a Hindu, you can never lead a life of self respect.

A partition like condition has risen up again. It was Jinnah then, now its the Shahi Imam and Shahbuddin.Islam khatrey me ( Islam in danger) they say. Islam in danger? Your women. Your children. You endanger their lives and then you blame us. Its you, who has put Islam in danger. Isnt it told in your religion that never betray the land of your birth? What are you bastards doing then?

Do I become divisive because I call for a shutdown in the state because our Hindu brothers are killed in Punjab and Kashmir? And what are the ones who shout Paksitan Zindabaad? Now they brand me anti Sikh. No, I'm not. I have merely asked for the boycott of Khalistan sympathisers.

You wont find anything better than Hindu Dharma in the world. Because its constantly improving itself. No other religion has undergone such reforms. Not Christianity, not Islam. We have never shirked from discarding what is bad. Four Varna system? Not relevant. Discarded. Women not treated equally? Discarded the reasons of it. But yes, overt tolerance is not going to do us good. Respect others, but if they want to finish you, finish them first. You need to revive this spirit. Otherwise you will be wiped out.

How many Ravans are you going to burn? No matter how much you try, you will not run out of them.

Merely shouting Shivaji Maharaj ki Jai wont get you a living or a wife. One cant live alone by history. One has to create history.

This is an anecdote of my father when he was in his early teens. One day when he arrived home in the evening, he enquired about the decorations going in the neighbourhood. His mother told him that the old man next door was getting married to a young girl. My father was livid. He rushed outside with a matchbox in his hand, went next door, proclaiming 'Call the old oaf outside. Let me see how he gets married'. He was taunted 'What the hell can you do'? In answer, he burnt down the stage set for the wedding.

I'm trying my best to live upto these values that I have inherited.

Those who accuse me of being a tyrant should come to my speeches. This crowd of thousands cant be gathered by fear, but by love alone. And only Shiv Sena can keep this multitude in order. When they turned out Hindus from Kashmir, I got them justice by 'remote control'. Neither the state nor the central govt could do it. This is the power of your Shiv Sena, and it comes from you. I cannot pride on myself being the Shiv Sena 'Pramukh' if I cast aside the 'Shiv Sainik'.

I dont believe in superficial democracy. People ask me ' You beat up the MLAs who leave your party and join the Congress' and I reply, yes, why not? People elect them with good faith on a Shiv Sena ticket and these scoundrels defect to other parties for money? Henceforth, I appeal to you, especially the women. If such cases happen again, thrash these good for nothings publicly. These pimps deserve nothing better.

My father gave me a mantra to live by- Dont go to any astrologer, dont show anyone your horoscope.If you have to show him your hand, show it in some other manner. Dont care what postion the stars and the planets are in. As long as you have self confidence and inner strength in you, you wont perish no matter where you are in the world. And thats what I'm following.

Bow down to your parents before bowing down to God. They are your gods. They have given birth to you, not God.

People accuse me of disrespecting the law many times. Well, I don't believe in the system of democracy we have in this country today. Should I kiss and cuddle the democracy which couldnt give you basic necessities of life like food, water and sanitation in four decades? What do you think that queue of people squatting by the roadside every morning are doing? Definitely not singing the national anthem, as far as I know (1988)

If I cannot infuse nationalism in the youth then where should I infuse it? In water taps? I will keep writing like this. I will do whatever is necessary to further the cause of nationalism. They can file any number of cases against me as they please. If they have their way, maybe I will have to open my office near the judge's chambers so that I can rush to him with the copy of my latest article 'Your Honour, see if this offends you'. What kind of democracy is this?

Are Hindus sacrificial goats, to be herded by their enemies one by one- Bring them here one by one so that we cap lop their heads of one at a time? No. Dont live like progeny of assholes (Gandus). Otherwise your living or dying is one and the same.

Due to your (government’s) weakness, our soldiers have to pay for it with their lives. And you award medals to their widows and feel great about it? Is that the end of your responsibility? What is the widow to do with the medal with the  man of the house gone? Will that sustain her?

All the time you praise about how clean other countries are. Look at Hong Kong you say. Then why do you play ping pong when it comes to getting your act together to clean your own cities?

How does your Shiv Sainik appear as he is marching towards Ayodhya? Like the roaring lion spreading terror, with the gait of an intoxicated elephant, like the assault of a rhino which reduces to powder a rocky mountain, like the manoeuvres of a leopard: our infinite blessings to these Hindu warriors who are marching towards Ayodhya (Saamna Editorial, Dec 1992)

Tell me, if Pakistan acquires a hydrogen bomb tomorrow, what is your plan of action? Placating them with bhajans?

Innocent Hindu boys are being killed, and you wait for orders to destroy the fanatic traitors in Bhendi Bazaar (a Muslim area in south Mumbai)? Have the police also become playthings in the hands of politicians? We predict that these traitors will kill you also. Since the police had not done anything, our young boys retaliated for the murders of Hindus on January 6. And what do we get? You kill those brave boys.- From "Burning Pyres", editorial, Saamna, January 11, 1993

It's only during elections that you remember Ambedkar. It's only during elections that you remember Shahu Maharaj. It's only during elections that you remember Phule. Otherwise you just dont care nor you make their statues. Dont try to teach me about Dalit empowerment. I saw my father suffering all his life for it. Our house in Pune was stoned. And at that tender age, I have seen a mock funeral procession staged to threaten my father.

Rather than being a job seeker, have the courage to try to become a job giver.

I only know two religions-rich and poor. Dont make the rich poor. Make the poor rich.

Even when you grow old physically, dont let your thoughts grow old.

I have received a reports that Congress is plying their student leaders with all kinds of pleasures. I want to state here that I will not tolerate any of this in Shiv Sena. If a woman boards a rickshaw at 4 AM that is being plied by a Bharatiya Kaamgar Sena (Shiv Sena’s workers union) member, she should do this with trust that she is safe because this rickshaw is plied by a Shiv Sainik. To my student leaders I say rough it out, if need be, spend a night on benches in railway stations. You will understand what life is.

If you stop Amarnath piligrimage, I swear that I will not let a single Haj piligrim go through Mumbai. If you think you can thrash Hindus because you think they are weak, we will have to invoke Shiva in us.

Babri had to be destroyed. And if Shiv Sainks have demolished it, I’m proud of them. Who is Babar? Any kid on the street will tell you that Lord Raam belonged to Ayodhya. Then what is the need of Babar there? Muslims destroyed our places of worship in their invasions. We no longer live in some Mughal rule. We must reclaim our lost temples.

Before appeasing the 'minorities', learn to love the Hindu. He needs you.

http://www.thefrustratedindian.com/2017/01/balasaheb-thackeray-speeches/

Lies

I’m on my way.
I’ll be there in five minutes.
I was just going to call you.
I’ll finish this by tomorrow.
The cheque is in the mail.
I’ll pay you as soon as I have the money.
I’ll look forward to your visit.
Aap ke liye jaan bhi haazir hai. (I would even give my life for you)
Kabhi bhi aa, tera hi ghar hai. (Drop in anytime, its your house)
The results aren’t out yet, father.
I will clean my room by this evening, Ma.
If you get good marks in the board exams, I will buy you a bike.
I can’t do this now. I’m studying.
I’ve done the homework but I left the notebook at home.
When I was your age, I was much more responsible.
I never wasted my time after stupid films and stupid cricket/football matches when I was in school.
God is watching everything that we do.
No Ma, I’m not watching TV.
Enough is enough. I’m quitting this trashy company after the appraisal.
We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
I’m always available to solve any queries. You can call me anytime.
We adhere to the highest ethical values here.
Our people are our greatest resource.
Our government/party is committed to the welfare of the people.
This is a conspiracy against me by the opposition.
How can we pay the dividend when the company is in loss?
You are a very valuable employee for us and we have good things planned for you, which will be revealed to you at the right time.
All our customer service executives are busy at the moment.
Employee satisfaction is the highest in our company.
This wont hurt a bit.
Why has this happened to me? I have never wished ill for anyone.
I’m going over to friend’s house for group study.
I’m on a diet.
I’m 35.
I will surely put a word for you to the higher authorities the next time.
I just love kids.
You are special.
You are destined for great things.
You have a bright future.
I have read & agree to the terms of service.
Low on trans fat.
Fat free.
Non toxic chemicals
Packed with vitamins and minerals.
Natural ingredients.
I’m on a diet.
I work out regularly.
We only use organic ingredients.
The doctor will be with you in a minute.
Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.
We are just friends. There is nothing between us.
I’m just looking for a good script so I haven’t signed anything now.
Status: Offline.
Yes. I’m over 18.
You dont look a day over 30.
Films promote art.
I’m fine.
I’m ok.
It’s ok.
Nothing.
You are the only one I have ever loved.
I love you for what you are, not your money or job.
I would have done it much better than him/her.
Study and work hard and all the success in the world will be yours.
I won’t change a thing about you.
God, you look fabulous.
Sweetheart, how can I forget your birthday/our anniversary?
Limited edition only.
Best value for money.
I won’t do it again.
I’ll never leave you.
I would never do that to you.
I would never hurt you.
This dress looks like it was made for you.
I promise it won’t cost a lot.
No more booze and cigarettes from tomorrow.
I’m in control of my life.
I never got your message.
I won’t tell anyone. Promise.
Cheaters never win.
Honesty is the best policy.
Democracy is of the people, for the people, by the people.
India will respond strongly to this terrorist attack,
Pakistan is a peace loving nation.
America stands for promoting justice in the world.

http://theviewspaper.net/lies/

I'm so middle class

I’m so middle class..

That  I keep the tags intact on my luggage even months after my flight.

That a trip to another city or a country is a major event in my life.

That except my house and my office, there are very places to go.

That I don’t throw away the price tags of branded stuff for days.

That I spend hours on deciding the budget of the gift for anyone’s wedding or birthday.

That I keep the cardboard boxes lying with me just because they are of Adidas or Nike or Sony.

That I don’t have an authorized version of any software.

That I think with my English I can get around anywhere in the world.

That I think I’m intelligent because I’m bilingual or trilingual

That I think my college degree is the biggest advantage for me to rise high in life.

That I think my children’s future depends on how much they score in their 10^th and 12^th std board exams.

That I think parents know whats best for children.

That I think teachers can be role models.

Plastic covers play a big role in my day to day life, from seats of cars to anything remotely expensive.

That I stitch and alter my clothes a million times before throwing them away.

That I instantly convert a price in pounds/euros/dollars to rupees.

That half the dialed calls from my cellphone are missed calls.

That my yearly increment is barely enough to get me an extra month’s groceries but enough to get me to a higher tax bracket.

That I feel guilty when I buy a new garment or a gadget.

That a TV or a computer  lasts as long as furniture in my house.

That vehicles are family heirlooms, passed from parents to children.

That an empty 1.5 litre soft drink bottle serves as my water bottle for a couple of years.

That empty ice cream tubs serve as storage for cooked vegetables for a couple of years.

That I think god is going to be angry with me for drinking liquor  or eating meat on an auspicious day.

That finding ten rupees in the back pocket of a washed pair of trousers makes my day.

That  a three bedroom flat and a sedan is my ultimate goal in life.

That I cannot disregard anything that my parents say.

That my dinner and lunch is at times the lunch and dinner leftovers, respectively.

That I read the restaurant menu from right to left.

That I never order appetizers in a restaurant.

That after a meal, I make sure to take some paper napkins and toothpicks.

That instead of going on a real date, I spend that time watching porn websites.

That I can get sex only via marriage.

That the sorrow of being single is instantly wiped away with the realization that I’m saving a lot money due to this.

That I fancy a starlet thinking that she is and looks as cute as she is in her films/serials.

That my favourite poem is ‘roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for  two’.

That I make sure to have some souvenirs from my hotel room stay.

That I think everyone around the world knows Bollywood and Cricket.

That Kingfisher strong and Royal Stag mean premium liquor for me.

That I think only hard work is the way to riches.

That at a fuel station, the amount of petrol/diesel in my vehicle is not counted in litres but in rupees.

That I think a person’s intellect depends on how well he speaks English and how many degrees he holds.

That when I’m in front of the TV, I think I have all the solutions to all my country’s problems.

That I think that out there is a girl who will love me just for what I am and the way I am.

That I have too much month at the end of my salary.

That a serious illness is all that will take to make me dirt poor.

That I have no idea how to avoid tax.

That looking into my wallet is nothing less than an introspection.

That electricity and telephone bills make me sad.

That I have no means of passing the inflation to someone else.

That a promotion makes me feel like the richest man in the world.

That I think if I respect people, they are obliged to do the same.

That at the end of the month my passbook resembles a sad novel.

That I think that police are there to protect me , courts are there to give me justice and hospitals are there to cure me.

That I think whatever the media tells me is true.

That I still stick to my values inspite of them proving disadvantageous to me.

That I think schools and colleges can instill values and morals in students.

That I’m afraid of the law.

That I’m too dignified to beg, too righteous to steal and too much of a simpleton to make a fortune.

That I cannot be shameless.

That a lot of my decision involve “what will people say?”

That I’m oblivious to the larger picture that there is noone to protect my interests, that everything is already bought and distributed to a very large group, and I’m never going to be in it.

That I think votes win elections and good work wins promotions.

That I think the common man is good. All the fault lies solely with the politicians.

That I think I’m somehow insulated from all the evil happening out there and nothing bad can ever happen to my family.

That I forget that I won’t get what I deserve but only what I negotiate.

That I forget that my child will learn by what I am, not what I teach him.

That I forget how fragile is everything I have strived to build.

That I think if I prevent my child from watching certain channels or read certain books, he/she will not get corrupted.

That I think will is more important than skill.

That I think all I need to do to achieve something is put my heart into it.

That I think honesty is the best policy and that slow and steady wins the race.

That I still think there is some decency left in the society.

That I think my government is mine.

That I believe in live and let live.

That I think being content with what I have is the secret of happy life.

That somehow, even in this hopeless situation, I think life is good.

 

http://theviewspaper.net/middle-class/

Lessons from Films

Chinese don’t have any other hobby except martial arts. Life in ancient and medieval  China was all about fighting with anyone who got in your way and avenging your master who somehow had to get killed for you to achieve greatness.

Life in the old west was about going to saloons, getting drunk, shooting anyone who offended you without any obligations. Half the population was of bounty hunters and the other half of bandits. The remaining were sheriffs, barmen, dandy ladies and old timers.

The purpose of the American school system is the promotion of basketball, American football and cheerleading. Students have hobbies like skateboarding, guitars, dancing. Every male student has to have his crush living next door.

America single handedly won the second world war.

Every scientist is bound to be mad and unleash something bad on the world.

Half of the Russians are spies. The other half are gangsters.

Half of the blacks are gangsters. The other half are saintly wise men.

Half of Japanese population are geniuses. The other half belong to the Yakuza.

Atleast a tenth of the American public works for the CIA/FBI/NSA. All wealthy guys are evil investment bankers. Everyone has a car, regardless of their economic background. All protagonists, male or female are defacto stunt drivers.

A rifle magazine holds enough bullets to decimate a thousand people. Reloading a pistol or a rifle is to be done in rarest of the rare cases.

A bullet to the shoulder and arm is a minor injury.

The hero will not utter a grunt even with the worst stab injury but will wince in pain when the heroine is cleaning his wounds.

The villain’s goons can shoot their year’s supply of bullets but none will hit the hero. A misfired shot from the hero always finds its mark.

Cellphone batteries run out when they are needed the most. Cars wont start when you are desperately escaping killers.

Cars and houses are not meant to be locked.

All criminal plans like planned robberies or hits have to be discussed in a crowded restaurant.

Army sergeants are sadistic psychopaths.

Two policemen who do not get along will always be paired together. A police officer cannot solve any crime unless he is suspended.

Policemen have no other work than escorting the battered villain to jail in the end of the film.

In course of their investigations, the policeman protagonist must make multiple visits to bars and strip clubs.

Court cases involve entertainment and drama. Lawyers cant win their cases unless they theatrically express themselves. The judge is a robot.

Anyone can avoid the death penalty for murder by feigning insanity.

 Forensic science is magic.

Mexico does not have a legitimate business as the economy seems to be running on cocaine and kidnapping. The males are into drug trafficking and women are into chasing gringos.

Aliens are either naked or are dressed in identical outfits. Their planet has one culture and one language. They have a very special interest in attacking America.

Eiffel tower can be seen from anywhere in Paris.

All countries in Africa have a civil war going on. Even walking on the streets can get you killed. Only a bleeding heart white man or woman can make a difference in this situation.

Journalists are heroes. Editors are villains.

Inspectors are heroes. Commissioners are either dumb or villains.

In mythological films, we come to know that the asuras/rakshasas spent half of their time laughing loudly.

Army officers have no other recreation other than getting drunk at parties.

Chloroform causes instant unconsciousness.

Dogs bark at bad people.

Snakes are easily picked up and thrown away by the protagonist after they have stung everyone else to death.

Busy streets are the best place to dance. When you start dancing on the streets, everyone else joins you as they already know the dance steps.

In Bollywood, all the protagonists can start singing anywhere because they have great voices.

In Bollywood, death row doesn’t last beyond two weeks to one month. Anyone who is sentenced to hang is to be hung asap.

 Colleges in India are meant for promotion of canteens and binge drinking parties. The preoccupation of every college student is chasing girls. A male college student must carry two books. If he carries one, he may look like a ruffian and if he carries more than two, he may end up looking like a nerd, a character reserved for the comedian. The girl must be naïve and hot. Or arrogant and hot. But she must be hot and somehow fall in love with the unemployed good for nothing hero.

If someone falls down when chased by the murderer, they somehow cant get up in order to be killed by the murderer.

The poorest of the poor protagonist has to romance his ladylove in Switzerland.

The most important thing is finding your soulmate to get married. Trivial issues like earning a living don’t matter.

Temple priests (pujaris) are decadent and dishonest. Imams and Padres are pious.

Everyone from America visiting India sees nothing but the Taj Mahal.

Inspite of banks, loans somehow have to be taken from moneylenders and gangsters.

There comes a time for every doctor to proclaim “He needs prayers more than medicines now”.

The protagonist’s mother, sister and brother will have the rarest blood group like O-ve, something which is unknown to the protagonist till the time they meet some mishap. The hospital wont stock that blood group, because after all, its rare.

If you drive a car or ride a bike with a worried state of mind or after fighting with your family, you will have an accident.

A rape victim has to kill herself to fire the protagonist for avenging her.

Fires always lead to explosions. All houses and godowns are highly inflammable. One matchstick or a burning cloth is enough.

100% of computer hackers are on the wrong side of the law. It is child’s play to hack into bank accounts and websites of security agencies.

Ghosts kill young women in the shower. Young men taking a shower are left alone.

In a horror film, blood always falls from the shower when the female protagonist is under it.

Serial killers who stab their victims always use a chef’s knife.

For escaping a pursuing killer, always run upstairs.

James Bond somehow has developed a technique of not letting his victims bleed when he shoots them. He fights best when dressed in tuxedos.

All vampires are defacto Christians as they are terrified of the crucifixes.

When left alone in a big house, young women undress instantly.

In Indian prisons, people fight mostly over who will be the first in the queue for the food.

Bad guys smoke cigars and pipes. Good guys smoke cigarettes.

Anyone who speaks Urdu is somehow a cultured person. Anyone who speaks pure Hindi is a buffoon.

Whisky looks like black tea. And its to be drunk straight from the bottle at one go for optimum results. Only men are alcoholics.

Anyone alone in the car is either bound to die, get kidnapped or get chased by another car.

Any accomplished skill from martial arts to music can be acquired in a matter of few days or months.

Rich people have all the time in the world to throw lavish parties and going on yacht cruises.

Office work involves nothing but presentations and more presentations. Everyone has to be dressed in a coat and a tie.

Life in Indian villages is a paradise. The people except one or two are epitomes of goodness. Fetching water from the well involves pretty women in colourful clothes gyrating to music and tilling and harvesting is a great recreational activity.

City folk are bad. Village folk are good. Businessmen are evil. Salaried guys are good. Rich people are bad. Poor people are good.

All  vehicles explode when someone shoots them or when they crash into buildings.

One can survive bomb blast by leaping through the window just as the bomb explodes.

Time bombs have an attached digital clock so that the diffuser can plan his schedule. There are always two wires to cut, and in the end, whichever wire is cut diffuses the bomb.

Love conquers everything from bad financial conditions to the corrupt system. The most powerful thing in the world is love between two people who look attractive on the screen. Love which starts in the college, endures the longest.

The protagonist, who has not hit anyone seriously in his life can take down the most vicious of hitmen .

Most important, all villains are stupid. They can be foxed by the dumbest kid. And when they finally have the hero  in their grasp, instead of shooting him right away they start speaking big dialogues which gives  the hero enough time for finding a way of killing the villain.

Last but not the least, the director is a wise guy and the viewer is an idiot.

 http://theviewspaper.net/what-do-we-learn-from-films/