I’m so middle class..
That I keep the tags intact on my luggage even months after my flight.
That a trip to another city or a country is a major event in my life.
That except my house and my office, there are very places to go.
That I don’t throw away the price tags of branded stuff for days.
That I spend hours on deciding the budget of the gift for anyone’s wedding or birthday.
That I keep the cardboard boxes lying with me just because they are of Adidas or Nike or Sony.
That I don’t have an authorized version of any software.
That I think with my English I can get around anywhere in the world.
That I think I’m intelligent because I’m bilingual or trilingual
That I think my college degree is the biggest advantage for me to rise high in life.
That I think my children’s future depends on how much they score in their 10th and 12th std board exams.
That I think parents know whats best for children.
That I think teachers can be role models.
Plastic covers play a big role in my day to day life, from seats of cars to anything remotely expensive.
That I stitch and alter my clothes a million times before throwing them away.
That I instantly convert a price in pounds/euros/dollars to rupees.
That half the dialed calls from my cellphone are missed calls.
That my yearly increment is barely enough to get me an extra month’s groceries but enough to get me to a higher tax bracket.
That I feel guilty when I buy a new garment or a gadget.
That a TV or a computer lasts as long as furniture in my house.
That vehicles are family heirlooms, passed from parents to children.
That an empty 1.5 litre soft drink bottle serves as my water bottle for a couple of years.
That empty ice cream tubs serve as storage for cooked vegetables for a couple of years.
That I think god is going to be angry with me for drinking liquor or eating meat on an auspicious day.
That finding ten rupees in the back pocket of a washed pair of trousers makes my day.
That a three bedroom flat and a sedan is my ultimate goal in life.
That I cannot disregard anything that my parents say.
That my dinner and lunch is at times the lunch and dinner leftovers, respectively.
That I read the restaurant menu from right to left.
That I never order appetizers in a restaurant.
That after a meal, I make sure to take some paper napkins and toothpicks.
That instead of going on a real date, I spend that time watching porn websites.
That I can get sex only via marriage.
That the sorrow of being single is instantly wiped away with the realization that I’m saving a lot money due to this.
That I fancy a starlet thinking that she is and looks as cute as she is in her films/serials.
That my favourite poem is ‘roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two’.
That I make sure to have some souvenirs from my hotel room stay.
That I think everyone around the world knows Bollywood and Cricket.
That Kingfisher strong and Royal Stag mean premium liquor for me.
That I think only hard work is the way to riches.
That at a fuel station, the amount of petrol/diesel in my vehicle is not counted in litres but in rupees.
That I think a person’s intellect depends on how well he speaks English and how many degrees he holds.
That when I’m in front of the TV, I think I have all the solutions to all my country’s problems.
That I think that out there is a girl who will love me just for what I am and the way I am.
That I have too much month at the end of my salary.
That a serious illness is all that will take to make me dirt poor.
That I have no idea how to avoid tax.
That looking into my wallet is nothing less than an introspection.
That electricity and telephone bills make me sad.
That I have no means of passing the inflation to someone else.
That a promotion makes me feel like the richest man in the world.
That I think if I respect people, they are obliged to do the same.
That at the end of the month my passbook resembles a sad novel.
That I think that police are there to protect me , courts are there to give me justice and hospitals are there to cure me.
That I think whatever the media tells me is true.
That I still stick to my values inspite of them proving disadvantageous to me.
That I think schools and colleges can instill values and morals in students.
That I’m afraid of the law.
That I’m too dignified to beg, too righteous to steal and too much of a simpleton to make a fortune.
That I cannot be shameless.
That a lot of my decision involve “what will people say?”
That
I’m oblivious to the larger picture that there is noone to protect my
interests, that everything is already bought and distributed to a very
large group, and I’m never going to be in it.
That I think votes win elections and good work wins promotions.
That I think the common man is good. All the fault lies solely with the politicians.
That I think I’m somehow insulated from all the evil happening out there and nothing bad can ever happen to my family.
That I forget that I won’t get what I deserve but only what I negotiate.
That I forget that my child will learn by what I am, not what I teach him.
That I forget how fragile is everything I have strived to build.
That I think if I prevent my child from watching certain channels or read certain books, he/she will not get corrupted.
That I think will is more important than skill.
That I think all I need to do to achieve something is put my heart into it.
That I think honesty is the best policy and that slow and steady wins the race.
That I still think there is some decency left in the society.
That I think my government is mine.
That I believe in live and let live.
That I think being content with what I have is the secret of happy life.
That somehow, even in this hopeless situation, I think life is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment